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| Crashing Stories (1418 Posts)
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Crashing Stories |
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On 7/10/1998 Spanky Malone
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kboy, that was by far the best "crash" story I have ever read! Cudos, Bro!
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On 7/9/1998 Kboy
wrote in from
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Ok, here's crash story #2: I'm carving T-street in good old San Clemente
late at night (no traffic) and having a good time. T-street is an extremely steep section of a longer hill
which ends at the pier. Anyway, I'm carving away going low and grabbing rail on my turns when I lose my balance
and just kind of roll off the board. No big deal since I'm low anyway and don't have far to fall. My board, of course
keep rolling and goes straight down the hill. I'm thinking, boy it going to hit that curb hard
and seriously mess up the nose which is already a bit banged up, but suddenly the board, to my horror, veers right and heads
straight for the street gutter and goes right in! By this time I'm running down the hill anyway. I try to look into the gutter
and don't see a thing. I can tell the bottom of it is about 12 feet down. I'm bummed! At this point I'm lying flat on the grate just trying to see
if my board landed somewhere where I could get to it, but still could'nt make anything. Suddenly I hear some footsteps and look up to see three kids, prob high-school age
standing there, your average tough looking San Clemente skater types. Now it's three in the a.m. and I thought great, not only do I lose my board, but I'm going to get my ass kicked too.
But what happened was cool and renewed my faith in the youth of America. They asked if I was OK, and I said, yeah, but I lost my board down here. One of them immediately
left and got a flashlight. We shined it in the gutter and saw the board was lying perfectly atop a little plateau, just in front of the drain that would have taken it
God knows where. I was stoked! They helped me lift the grate off, lowered me down into the gutter, where I grabbed the board and handed it back up. They pulled me back up, we put the grate back on
and I had my board back almost as quickly as I lost it! I thank them profusely, they left and I go back to skating around. Later on a truck pulls up next to me. It's them again, I had left my jacket
hanging on a parking meter and they brought it back to me! They were cool. I even offered them 20 bucks or something for their help, (considering they just saved me alot of money), they refused to take it.
I wonder if their parent's know what great kids they raised, I hope so.
Kboy
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On 7/1/1998 Kboy
wrote in from
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Spanky, Dino is WAY beyond help!
But he appreciates your concern, I'm sure.
Kboy
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On 6/30/1998 Spanky Malone
wrote in from
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Kboy, you sound like you got a pretty good head on your shoulders, and this "drunken longboarding" incident was an isolated one. You are right, relaxing and not getting all tensed up is the way to be at speed! Your equipement can handle much more, usually, than we normally take it to even when we are "lit up"! Trust your gear, it won't let you down if it is in good condition. Finally, I'm glad to hear you stay away from the "Skanky girls", hate to have a fellow longboarder down in the loins! Now what about Dino, do I need to talk to this lad!? Spanky's here for ya!
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On 6/30/1998 Kboy
wrote in from
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Holy cow! I'm getting my butt kicked here! Now that everyone probably thinks I'm some
drunk skating guy, I'm not. With that in mind:
1. I don't disagree with anything anybody has said in reply.
2. Skating drunk is dumb, driving drunk is even dumber.
3. That was the first and last time I did that. Adrenaline is all I'm on when I skate.
4. I have no regrets though, because I learned a few things. Yeah I was lucky I didn't eat it. But the
bottom line was I was more relaxed than usual, which taught me to relax more when skating in general, especially
in those sick high-speed sitches. I learned to keep my cool and stay on the board. That experience also showed that that hill is doable I you end up bombing it,
and gave me a point of reference if I'm skating that hill or something similiar.
5. I never pick up on ANY skanky chicks, no matter how toasted I am. Really! My bro Dino gets all of them, so there are
none left anyway.
PEACE brothers!
Kboy
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On 6/30/1998 anti spanky malone boy
wrote in from
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hey spanky quiet were sick of you
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On 6/29/1998 Spanky Malone
wrote in from
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Kboy, this is a classic example of alcohol impeding ones judgement. If you would have been sober, you probably would have bailed, by your own admission. Now remember, when you are all lit up and at the party, you may not posses the good judgement not to engage in extra curricular activity with that "skanky" girl that under normal circumstances you wouldn't touch with your worst enemies...well...I think you get the picture! Skate straight...maintain good, sound judgement. And stayed focused at that party, those kinds of mistakes can stay with you forever! Adios Kboy, the Spankster.
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On 6/29/1998 scheckey
wrote in from
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Kboy, I bet you had Tootiserolls in your pants too! I know I would have! always remember kids, Skate people shouldent durnk down hills.
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On 6/29/1998 KBoy
wrote in from
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Maybe two years ago I'm coming home from having a few beers
w/my bro's, too tweaked to drive, so I decide to grab my Gravity (Superflex)
out of my trunk and skate home. It's about 2am, and a beautiful balmy
summer night in San Clemente. I grab this pretty cool hill I ride alot
which ends down at T-street pier, it's a gradual start then gets steeper as you
go along until you hit T-street which is about a 45 degree slope, super steep brother!
So I'm carvin' and being a bit tipsy still, I lose my concentration and suddenly am bombing
the hill. I am now flyin at least 30-35 mph and got serious wobbles. I'm into heavy carving (usually)
and my trucks are pretty darn loose. I'm tempted to jump, but I know
for sure I'm toast if I do that, so I opt to stay on and hope for the best. Good decision on my part, cause I
made it all the way down into the safety part of the hill, lost some speed and started carving again, carved up T-street some more
and then skated home. Skating drunk is not smart, but I think if I was straight, I would've jumped. The adrenline rush on this ride
was incredible and no doubt, by the time I was at the bottom of that hill I was completely sober!
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On 6/25/1998 Spanky Malone
wrote in from
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marc, you are right, what the hell are those inliners doing wearing that spandex while going 60mph?! Those dudes need to "get a clue"...besides, is'nt spandex more for street walking hookers?....Spanky is outta here, and will never be caught dead in Spandex!
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On 6/25/1998
marc
wrote in from
()
I thought the speedboarding was great. mabey next year they could have a more technical course that would demand some sliding techniques. That would be wild, and would require as much skill as balls.
Also I think the stand up guys set a great example for saftey. If you notices, the bladers all wore bicycle helmets and spandex. And they call us nuts...
ride on...
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On 6/23/1998 Spanky Malone
wrote in from
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The Spankster also witnessed the awe inspiring spectacle of Speedboarding in the X-Games...quite frankly Spanky is wildly and shamelessly attracted to this dramatic, ballsy, adrenaline rush of a not so new slant on skateboarding! Does anyone remember Signal Hill? Capitola? Speedboarding has been around for awhile...it is time it became a frontrunning Extreme Games Sport! National Trials for inclusion in the X-Games is a must! So get your Bates Leathers (They already saved my life once) and Shark head helmets, and lets go SPEEEEDBOARDING!!
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On 6/23/1998 Spanky Malone
wrote in from
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Roojah, the Amighty?!? What are you Amighty at? Thanx for the endorsement, Roojah. I'm glad there are others out there that would agree that ingesting hallucinagenics and downhill skateboarding are not condusive to a healthy since of oneness with the universe!
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On 6/23/1998 Spanky Malone
wrote in from
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Gunnar, you are so right, Spanky blabbers on endlessly, does he not? The Spankster would just devoure that Sector 9, belch rudely, and keep on running his big mouth!
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On 6/23/1998
Roojah the Amighty
wrote in from
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Roojah blesses Spanky Malone for his opulent vociferous nature...
In addition, he would like to take these 2 lines of text to re-interate that skating and drugs just don't mix too well [though I consider both to be serious hobbies]. Yeah it makes things a bit "more interesting", but when you're flying downhill at 30mph with no pads on you don't want to start f*king with your ability to balance.
Skank it Easy...
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On 6/23/1998 Gunnar Southswell
wrote in from
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And that's saying something, Spanky couldn't shut up if he
had a Sector 9 in his mouth.
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On 6/22/1998 Spanky Malone
wrote in from
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grego...I don't even know how to respond to you...you've left the Spankster speechless!
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On 6/22/1998
grego
wrote in from
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Dammit, I'm really pissed! Its the first week of summer,
and I already hav f*cked myself up boming a hill. I don't
think anyone reading this can realise how irritating my
latest spill is to me, but here goes. First of all, i ate
it on a short, amatuer hill. Second, Since it was a small
hill, i decided to wear my slippers, being the kick ass
downhiller that I am (I live i hawaii, and there are nothing
but hills to ride here). I didn't think i'd gain too much
speed on the hil, but i did, and saw an upcoming turn, which
was humanly impossable to take, so i try to run off my
board to save my body. One problem though, i was riding
my frieds monster 51 incher, which is about 2 inches thick,
so i had no idea that i was going way past the
runing-off-the-board stage of stopping. To make a long
story short, i lost both of my heels (really!- a silver
dollar sized piece of callaus came, or ripped off of both
heels), and nothing else! I ended up walking on my toes
for a month, which strained the hell out of my calves, and
on top of that, missed an epic south swell. Still, I hold
no grudges with my friend's board, or downhilling in
general. I just learned that slippers ad downhilling dont
mix unless you want huge calves.
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On 6/18/1998 Spanky Malone
wrote in from
()
Who is Spanky Malone?....Spanky is a very complex individual, a man who enjoys a life of intrigue and adventure, an international man of discremenating taste. He enjoys the natural adrenanline rush that his chosen endeavors have to offer, whether it is bombing a sick hill or enjoying the company of a beautiful woman...and he engages in these pursuits straight, never would Spanky ingest illegal herb or any other narcotic before launching into his latest thrill seeking adventure...the rush alone is enough. So smoke your phat bowls or whatever it is you do ME UNKNOWN, but don't ask me to join in, I'm in it for the natural high and all that soul! Why wreck it by sedating the rush? Spanky is cruising outta here....
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On 6/17/1998
ME UNKNOWN
wrote in from
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one might ask himself......"Who is Spanky Malone?"
I have asked myself that very question many a time. What is his e-mail address? It doesn't matter what he looks like. Only those who bomb big time know the true identity. But to me it doesn't really matter what he looks like, what I really want to know does Spanky Malone really talk like that or does he boast a fatty bowl or two right before he types. Whatever the case may be If i ever meet Spanky "the mystery" Malone I hope to smoke a fatty then bomb a fatty. Nothin' like smokin with chills and bombin some hills! Late
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On 6/17/1998 Spanky Malone
wrote in from
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Freshmaker, you are the bomb man! One sick puppy! What a righteous dude! Phat city, bra, go do it again! :-) Spanky is bombing outa here, baaaaby!
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On 6/17/1998
Freshmaker
wrote in from
()
Well it finally happened, my first hardcore spill. My friend and I started out the evening nicely hitting a few hills here and there but not really finding what we wanted. We finally decided to go down a hill that was just monsterous. We treked up the hill witch seemed to take days on end. When we finally got to the top I stopped to take a piss like i always do before i go down a big hill i've never been on before. I then proceed down the hill in the middle of the night. I felt the wind against my face as always and started to carve. Then I noticed that this hill was actually a lot steeper than I originally predicted, I picked up a lot of speed I kept going faster and faster there was no way in hell I was going to try and bail safely, I just can't run that fast. I got the wobbles recovered once then all of a sudden I noticed that I was no longer on my board and that instead of rolling I was more or less sliding on my whole right side. Getting up was pretty easy because all I wa0nted to do was find my board, I was literally running in circles looking for my board. I don't think I've ever had so much blood come out of me at one time. We decide that my friend would come back and get it after taking me to the ER. I didn't notice until i go there that I had a pretty deep cut in my hip from my house key that I kept in my secret pocket, the cut is pretty deep and the stitches in my elbow are doing ok. There are 3 things I learned from this event. Wear your pads and helmet(s), don't carry your key, or anything for that matter, in your pockets, and check the street signs before the hill to see if they say 12% grade.
I did get my board back, thank god, and I plan to tackle the same hill later this summer with tighter trucks.
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On 6/9/1998 Spanky Malone
wrote in from
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Chris, there are federal agents outside your house right now that would like to talk to you about a certain large quanity of "herbal tea". After they clear up the "herbal tea" business they will cite you for violating section 9 of the federal anti-meathead act. I am fairly certain they will remove that fat lip, put it in a jar of formaldahyde, and hold it as evidence against. Don't be blue bro, after all, somehow you are still walkin' around! Spankster out!
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On 6/9/1998
Chriz Zanardi
wrote in from
()
Well, last evenings festivities came to a screeching halt moments after they had begun.
Josh, having just yesterday taken his truck to the shop for some suspension work, was
for the most part immobile. He had asked if I could assist Dominic and him in delivering
a large quantity of herbal tea. We met at Josh's and waited for Dominic to arrive. He did
and we left for his house in the deep Sunset. Along the way we decided on an evening skate.
One that I had anticipated very much as the weekend previous was more or less rained out.
Dominic was now out of the picture and we were on our way to Noe Valley. We would park in
the upper regions of the district so that we could use the hills to our advantage. Our plan
was to drop into the neighborhood and stop at Barony's for veggie burgs and then scope out
some more hills in the surrounding area.
We parked atop Diamond street where it intersects with Clipper. our mission was clear.
Descend the next two blocks to Barney's, a task neither Josh or I felt to be at all difficult
yet still challenging. we had never skated this hill and it was rather steep. but it was short
and clear.
Josh led, as he usually does. He got off a turn and then I followed. Two, maybe three turns a
nd he was already around the left turn at the very next intersection, 25th Street. This turn
was necessary as the hill in it's entirety would offer too much speed to handle. My decision was
to make the left as Josh did. As I was leaning into the turn I noticed Josh was heading back down
the small incline of 25th Street on the sidewalk. Approaching quickly I began to shout,
"Dude, ... DUDE, ... DUDE!" Not seeing me in time he jumped off his board. Now heading at break neck
speed toward his motionless skateboard I made one last turn to my right. That turn sent me hurdling
into Josh. I hit him with great force. Knocking him several feet away he lay on the ground.
My head thrashed on impact and cam in contact with his. My face was stinging. My immediate reaction
was to feel my upper lip with my tongue. I felt a gaping wound. Now blood was pouring from my mouth.
I tried to ask Josh if it looked bad. he was unable to understand me and was aghast at what he saw.
He later described it as being reminiscent of a D'ario Argento film "The Gates of Hell".
The bulk of the evening at this point was spent in the emergency room where I received five nylon
stitches for my heroic efforts. Now I have an upper lip the size of Cleveland. Wait till you see.
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On 6/3/1998 Spanky Malone
wrote in from
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gReat, good god boy, watch out fer the dogshit! You need to learn to do the Coleman slide, another good idea would be to avoid hills that empty out into busy boulevards. Don't be a meathead son, start off easy, learn the techniques, pick the right hills, and above all don't smear yer self with the dogshit, you'll give skaters a bad rap everywhere if you walk around with dogshit smeared all over you. Spanky out!
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